


From The Ashes

by Sarcasmcat



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-25
Updated: 2012-04-25
Packaged: 2017-11-04 07:44:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/391433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarcasmcat/pseuds/Sarcasmcat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After nearly a year in a coma Alex finally awakens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	From The Ashes

**Author's Note:**

> A sequel to my previous story Shattered.

Sid stares bemusedly at the paperwork spread over his lap, the table and the bottom half of the hospital bed. The empty folders are balanced over Alex’s feet and really, he never imagined this as his life, working on paperwork for the Penguins while he sits next to his partner. But it has been for the last six months, since he stopped playing. The team hasn’t chosen a new captain yet, their way of showing support over his decision but he’s been urging them too and he has the feeling they’ll be choosing Geno soon. 

They’ve been doing fine without him but they need someone on the ice who is wearing the C and Geno is the best choice by far.

Tired of staring at the paperwork Sidney moves the stuff on his lap to the table and picks up Alex’s hand, fingers stroking over the prominent ridges of bone. After long moments he shifts to rolling the ring, in much the same way he plays with his. The simple platinum band looks huge on Alex’s emaciated hand and Sidney swallows hard.

At first he thinks he’s imagining it but when he looks down there it is, a slight movement in Alex’s pinky and ring finger and Sidney is fairly certain his heart stops beating. Tightening his grip he stands up to lean over the bed. “Alex?”

This time there’s a spasm, all of Alex’s fingers curling inwards and time freezes. The feel of Alex’s hand moving under his again spurs Sid and he touches the fingers of his free hand to the curve of his lover’s cheek. “Holy shit Alex.”

There’s a rough, painful sound and it takes him a minute to remember that Alex has a breathing tube and is trying breathe on his own. Alex shifts, making a sound deep in his chest and he can practically feel Alex’s confusion edging towards panic and he needs to get a doctor or nurse but he doesn’t want to leave his lover when he has no idea what is going on.

Sid cups Alex’s face, thumbs sliding over the sharp lines of his cheekbones. “Alex, listen to me. I need you to calm down. I promise I’ll get a nurse.”

The movement is weak but he can feel Alex’s nod it and his heart seems to be beating even harder at the small, tangible bit of proof that Alex is awake and understands. Breath catching in his throat he presses a kiss to Alex’s forehead before ducking out of the room. 

Sidney grabs the first nurse he sees, ignoring the dirty look she gives him. “I-you-” He takes a deep breath, trying to calm down but it’s impossible. “Doctor Finch. My partner, Alexander Ovechkin, he’s awake.”

The nurse’s eyes widen and she shakes him off, heading for the nearest phone. Her conversation is quick and she hangs up and looks at him. “Doctor Finch will be down in a couple of minutes.”

Nodding Sidney fumbles his phone free and immediately goes to Mikhail in the contacts. He doesn’t want Alex’s family to hear from the hospital first, is afraid the nurse will say the wrong thing, make Tatyana think Alex is gone and he isn’t going to risk that.

 

He calls Mikhail and he can hear his voice trembling when the older man answers. “Alex just woke up. I don’t know anything yet.”

“I call parents. We be there as soon as possible. Finally Sid.” 

Mikhail’s voice is tight with emotion and Sidney closes his eyes but he can’t fight the grin pulling at his lips. “Yeah. I’ll see you when you get here.”

The moment he hangs up with Mikhail he glances at the clock and brings Geno’s number up on the screen. Practice will have just gotten over and he hates to disrupt them with a game tonight but he has to tell him. Geno picks up on the first ring and Sidney can hear the guys in the background. “Geno, Alex woke up.”

He can hear the catch in Geno’s breathing and then he’s yelling it to the locker room and Sidney can’t help but smile as he hears the whoops and cheers from the others and then suddenly it gets quiet and he figures Geno has left the locker room.

“How bad?”

Sidney leans back against the wall, watching as Doctor Finch rounds the corner at an almost run with the nurse trailing behind her. She smiles at him briefly before disappearing into Alex’s room and he sighs. “I don’t know yet. Doctor Finch just went in but I promise the moment I know anything I’ll call you.”

“Good. We win game for you and Sanja tonight.”

Sidney smiles because he has no doubt they will. “Tell everyone thanks.” 

He ends the call and texts Sasha, wishing he could call but the Capitals are in LA playing the Kings and are in the middle of their game and he fully expects to get a call as soon as Sasha sees his phone.

His mom is next but all he gets is her voicemail so he leaves a message before collapsing into a chair near Alex’s room. 

There still isn’t any news by the time Mikhail arrives with his parents and Sidney steps into Tatyana’s embrace, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she does her best to crush his ribs. They take seats in the lounge just down the hall from Alex’s room, where they can still see the room and Sidney can’t look away from the door as if staring at it is going to make anything happen faster.

Doctor Finch comes out of Alex’s room and they all perk up and Sidney tightens his fingers around Tatyana’s, breath caught in his throat.

She taps Alex’s chart against her thigh, her lips turned up in a faint smile. “Mr. and Mrs. Ovechkin, Mikhail, Sidney, good news. Obviously Alex doesn’t know the date or year but he does remember his life, playing in the NHL, the fact he’s married to you Sidney. He doesn’t remember the accident which is probably a good thing and it may come back to him. His English was a little shaky but that’s to be expected after a year in a coma. He needs to be taken for MRIs, CT scans and some other tests but I’ll let you see him first, though I can only give you ten minutes.”

Tatyana’s grip on his hand is like iron and Sidney follows on autopilot, still not quite able to believe that Alex is actually awake. He half expects to wake up in his bed, curled around a pillow that has long since ceased to smell like Alex.

Alex’s eyes are closed but the moment they enter the room he looks at them and Sidney stops, heart freezing in his chest. If he’s entirely honest with himself, which he hasn’t been, it was a sight he never thought he’d see again. But here it is, Alex’s eyes bright in the sharp lines of his face and Sidney’s whole world narrows down to the fact Alex is awake.

Tatyana perches on the bed next to Alex and cups his face, kissing his forehead, nose and cheeks, her voice a quiet, steady litany of Russian. Mikhail Sr. stands behind his wife, an arm around her shoulders, his free hand resting on Alex’s head.

Mikhail sets a hand on his brother’s knee, head bowed. 

Sidney settles for standing at the foot of the bed, one hand resting on Alex’s foot, squeezing gently, hoping to still the tremor that seems to be wracking his lover’s body. Alex meets his gaze, eyes soft and it takes him a minute to realize that he’s trembling, not Alex. He wants to say something, needs to but the knot in his chest is making it impossible so he manages a wan smile and doesn’t look away even when Alex’s eyes drift closed.

“Sidney.” There’s a gentle touch on his arm and Tatyana is at his side, eyes wet with tears even as she smiles at him. “Let you have some time with Alex.”

She hugs him and sweeps out of the room with a last glance at them, her husband and son following close.

Rounding the bed to stand at the side Sidney reaches out, fingers resting lightly on the scar marring Alex’s temple. Gaze never leaving Alex, he trails his fingers across his forehead and down his nose, dropping to his lips where he lingers just to feel the soft exhalation against his skin. “You scared me.”

Alex’s throat works, his eyes dark and sad. “Sorry.”

It’s more an exhalation of breath than a word, Alex’s voice raw and barely there and Sid drops on the bed, cupping the well-known, much loved face. “There’s no reason for you to be sorry.”

Alex looks like he wants to argue, brows drawn together and Sid leans in to kiss the corner of his mouth, to silence him before it can start. He already looks like he’s in imminent danger of falling asleep again and Sidney doesn’t want to tax him.

Sidney drags his thumb along Alex’s lower lip and leans in until their foreheads touch. “I missed you.”

This time Alex’s answer is a rough sound and Sid slides closer, one arm around his shoulders, the other braced on the bed next to Alex’s hip. He buries his face in his lover’s neck, taking a deep breath as he tries to center his emotions. Alex smells like hospital and prolonged sickness and Sid doesn’t care because he has Alex back in his arms, warm and alive.

There’s a knock at the door and Sidney cants his head to find Doctor Finch in the doorway, smiling softly. “I hate to break up the happy reunion but we need to get started on Alex’s tests.” 

Pressing a kiss to Alex’s cheek Sidney pulls back. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

\-----

Leaning back in the chair with his feet up on the bed Sidney closes his eyes. He knows he should leave, go and get some sleep in a real bed but he can’t bring himself to. This is what he’s been waiting for, Alex to wake up and now that he has and half the machines in the room are gone Sidney can’t find the will to leave.

Idly spinning his wedding ring Sidney rolls his shoulders. The hospital is quiet around them, the only sound in the room Alex’s soft breathing and the hum of the few pieces of equipment and he can just barely hear what sounds like an argument from outside the room. 

It’s one of the nurses and a man and Sidney bounces to his feet and he opens the door and sticks his head out. Geno is at the nurses’ station, towering over the tiny nurse on duty who looks like she’s about to start beating him with her clipboard. Sidney wouldn’t put it beyond Tina but really, the last thing they need is a fight at a quarter to three in the morning.

Glancing back at the bed where Alex is still asleep Sidney steps out, partially closing the door. “Tina, it’s okay. He’s a friend of mine and Alex’s.” 

Tina looks at him and sighs. “You’re lucky we all like you Sidney.” She taps Geno’s fingers with the clipboard. “Next time show up during visiting hours.”

Geno nods and is at his side, eyes drawn to the door. “Sanja?”

Settling back against the wall Sidney twists his ring. “According to the tests there isn’t any sign of serious damage so Doctor Finch doesn’t have any idea why he was in a coma for so long. Another two days she thinks and Alex can go home.”

Geno’s hand settles on his shoulder squeezing and Sidney smiles. “I’ll go wake him up.”

Sidney slips back into the room and turns on the small lamp next to the bed. He runs his thumb gently along the scar on Alex’s temple briefly before sliding his hand down to cup his face. “Alex, Geno’s here.”

With a soft sound of protest Alex turns into his hand. “Zhenya have terrible timing.” His voice is still barely more than a rasp but Sidney doesn’t care. Alex is awake and talking and that’s all that he’s been wishing for.

Leaning in with a laugh Sidney rests his forehead against Alex’s cheek before pulling back. “Sasha and the others will be back tomorrow so don’t expect to get any sleep then. Might as well talk to him now.”

Alex nods and Sidney heads back out. “He’s awake but I don’t know for how long.”

With a quick shoulder jostle Geno ducks into the room and Sidney makes his way to where Tina is leaning against the counter. “If he’d told me he was coming I would have warned you. And I appreciate you breaking visiting hours.” 

Tina smiles at him and she’s easily one of his favourite nurses because she doesn’t seem to be in awe of him or Alex. “We’ve been breaking visiting hours for you since the beginning Sidney. I don’t see any reason to stop now.”

“Good, because tomorrow you’ll probably have most of the Capitals in here.”

She hits him in the arm and nods to where Geno is slipping out of the room. “Fabulous. I can honestly say I’ll be glad to see you and Alex leave Sidney, and not for the reason everyone else enjoys you walking away.”

Blush staining his cheeks Sidney ducks away from her to meet Geno halfway. “Are you okay to get back to Pittsburgh?” Geno looks exhausted despite the smile and brightness in his face.

Geno’s response is broken by a yawn and Sidney digs his keys out to get the apartment key off. He’d picked up a small apartment in DC not long after he’d stopped playing though they still have their house halfway between Pittsburgh and DC but he doesn’t spend much time there. He ends up in Pittsburgh a couple of times a week to talk to Dan and Mario and spend some time on the ice with the team but the rest of his time is spent in the hospital.

Working the key off the ring he hands it to Geno. “You might as well stay for the night. There’s even some food in the fridge.”

Geno takes the key and drops his other hand to Sidney’s shoulder. “We win game. Also, others say they come see you.”

Sidney nods. “Good.” He doesn’t see his team as often as he’d like but a couple of them show up at least once every few weeks and he misses them. Even after all this time away he still isn’t used to not being around them for hours every day.

Squeezing his shoulder Geno smiles. “I bring key back to tomorrow before I go back. Night Sid.”

“Night.” Sid watches as Geno leaves, smiling when he stops to talk to Tina briefly before ducking back into Alex’s room.

Closing the door he rests his forehead against the glass. Exhaustion is dragging at him and he really knows he should leave but now it’s three in the morning and at this point sleeping is moot. He can just stay up and have Geno give him a ride back to the apartment when he comes by to drop off the key. 

“Sidney.”

Sidney rolls his forehead against the door to look at the bed. Alex has the bed propped up and is watching him with hooded eyes, mouth quirked up in soft smile.

He pats the bed and Sidney kicks his shoes off, carefully stretching out on the bed next to Alex with an arm across his chest, head pillowed on his shoulder. A hand cups the back of his head and a thumb trails down his neck. It isn’t the most comfortable position, he feels like he’s going to fall off the bed but he can’t find the energy to care because this is the closest he’s been to Alex since the morning of the accident.

“Zhenya said you not playing.”

Sidney tenses at Alex’s words and forces out a breath. “I haven’t played in the last six months.”

The slow up and down of the thumb on his neck continues and Sidney relaxes and turns to press his face into Alex’s shoulder. He would be content to stay this way for the rest of the night if he didn’t think the hospital staff would have issues with him crowding Alex all night.

“Why?” 

Squeezing his eyes shut Sidney fists the blankets, a knot forming in his chest. It’s something he never told anyone, his reason for not playing. “It’s not important.”

“Sid.”

His name is more a vibration against his ear than an actual sound and Sidney sighs. He can tell Alex doesn't believe him and he doesn’t want to tell him because it’s a secret he’s been holding close. The belief that if he said it out loud, to anyone, it would come true and he didn’t, couldn’t risk it.

“Because I didn’t like being away while you were in a coma. Because I didn’t want to be dodging Ott on the ice and worrying about getting a call after the game that you’d died. I couldn’t stand to think about you fading away but somehow it was better to sit here and watch you fade away then just have you look more and more like a ghost every time I came back!”

His breathing is erratic and his heart feels like it’s going to pound out of his chest. He feels Alex kiss the top of his head and the thumb on his neck presses over his pulse like it can still the wild beating.

“It okay Sidney.”

Sidney forces his breathing back to normal and closes his eyes as he nods at Alex’s words. This is the first time since the accident he hasn’t wanted to fly off the handle just from hearing that word, no matter the context. In the weeks following, when they’d been anxiously waiting for the swelling in Alex’s head to go down, everyone, from members of the Penguins organization to members of other teams had all told him it would be okay and Sidney up until that point had never hated a word in the English language so much.

Hated it so much that those closest to him had gotten to the point they had avoided saying it in his presence.

With Alex’s hand hot on the back of his neck and his heartbeat strong under him Sidney finally lets himself believe that everything is going to be okay.

\-----

A hand on his shoulder wakes him and Sidney blinks hard. Somehow he’s still on the bed next to Alex, his lover’s arm a warm brand across his shoulders. He shifts, carefully as to avoid waking Alex who mumbles as he moves. 

Geno is standing next to the bed with a goofy grin. “Good to see you in bed with Sanja again.”

Sid can’t help but return Geno’s smile even as he feels his cheeks flush hot with embarrassment. Geno has probably seen he and Alex in bed more times than anyone else because Alex has no shame. “It was good but my back is going to hate me. I can’t believe I actually managed to sleep like that all night.”

“Comfort.”

Bent over in the process of getting his shoes on Sid glances up at Geno. “What?”

“Is comforting. Two years you sleep with Sanja. Used to body in bed and then accident. Even in tiny bed is comforting to sleep with lover.” 

Geno’s voice is pitched low in deference to Alex, rolling over him and Sidney feels the words in his chest, the truth behind them. Having Alex close had been a comfort, after bad games and coping with the various little injuries that plague all hockey players. And now, despite the faint twinge in his back he feels like he’s gotten the best sleep he’s had in a year. 

He gets his shoes on and they step out into the hall, Sidney carefully closing the door behind them. A glance at a clock by the nurses’ station reveals it to be a little before eight and he can’t help but yawn. Five hours was more sleep than he expected but it’s less than he usually gets. 

Geno hands him the apartment key and frowns. “Need ride to house?”

Sidney takes the key and slips it back onto the keychain. “No. I got enough sleep to drive and there’s no reason for me to drag you back into town when you probably need to get back home.” 

“Tell Sanja I be back soon.” Geno looks torn and Sid bumps his shoulder.

“He understands Geno. Besides, you have a break in a couple of days.”

They both wave at Tina on their way out and separate at their cars with a companionable shoulder bump. 

\----

Yawning Sidney enters Alex’s room and stops. Sasha is sitting in his usual chair, smiling and Sidney raises his hand defensively. “Sorry. I didn’t expect you to be here so early. I’ll just do my work out here.”

Sasha rolls his eyes and says something that has Alex laughing, the sound rusty, before he points to the other chair tucked in the corner of the room near the window. “Sit Crosby.”

Sidney does as he’s told, unable to keep from grinning. It isn’t often Sasha calls him Crosby anymore, usually only when he’s irate or thinks he’s being an idiot. Drawing the little table close Sidney flips open the file and tries to work though he doesn’t get much done, distracted by Sasha and Alex’s conversation though he doesn’t understand it. It’s enough to hear the Russian and the low rasp of his partner’s voice.

\-----

Perched on the bed near Alex’s hip Sidney drags his thumbs along the back of his lover’s hand, tracing the sharp lines of bone, before twisting the ring on his finger. The action brings a smile to Alex’s lips as he rests, eyes closed.

It’s been like Grand Central Station in the room today, starting with Sasha. Nicklas, Brooks and Mike had shown up not long after, followed closely by the rest of the team and that’s when Sid had decided to slip out because the room was only so big.

By the time he’d gotten back from the cafeteria with a sketchy looking apple in hand he’d been shocked to find all the Capitals gone with Mario in their place. He’d stayed out in the hallway to give them privacy. Alex would tell him what Mario had said if he felt the need and if not, Sid wasn’t going to push. They were still allowed their secrets. 

Mario had left only to be followed by pretty much the entire Penguins team, Geno playing the role of watchful guardian, herding them out when it became obvious Alex was having a hard time keeping his eyes open.

“Good to know you still spin ring.”

Sid pauses in playing with Alex’s ring, heat spreading through his chest. Alex had always teased him about the nervous habit and the gentle teasing had never failed to get under his skin, much to Alex’s great amusement. 

Alex’s free hand rests on his thigh and Sid looks up to find his lover smiling at him. “No need to blush Sid. Is cute habit.”

Groaning Sidney goes back to just touching Alex’s hand. “Taylor told me the same thing when she caught me doing it not long after your accident.”

Alex laughs. “Is good Taylor not let you forget. She good little sister.”

“I’d give her to you but since we live together I’d be stuck with her again and I had enough of that growing up.” His phone chirps and Sid digs it out of his pocket, thumbing the screen. “Crap. I’ve got to go. Geno and Jordan came down to help me move our furniture so you don’t have to worry about the stairs.” 

He leans in and kisses Alex before drawing back, thumb touching his chin. “I’ll be back tonight and with luck tomorrow we can sleep in our own bed.”

“Good. Don’t like bed if you not in it.” Alex’s grin is tired but infectious and Sid returns it and leans in for another kiss before leaving.

\-----

Jordy adjusts his grasp on the mattress and glares at Sidney. “You know a six-pack isn’t going to cover this.”

Sidney braces the weight against his thigh and looks around the edge. “How about my undying gratitude that you aren’t going to make my husband who’s been in a coma for a year not take a flight of stairs to sleep?”

There’s a brief flash of guilt on Jordan’s face before he grins. “I’ll talk to Alex. He appreciates me.”

Rolling his eyes Sidney resists the urge to kick Jordan in the shin as they have a game tomorrow. “Don’t feel special. Alex appreciates anyone who has embarrassing stories to tell about me.”

Geno peers at them over the edge of the mattress. “Can’t feel fingers. We move this along?”

Regaining his grip on the mattress Sidney nods. “Yeah. I told Alex I’d be there to spring him at two so we need to finish getting everything moved.”

\-----

Trailing behind, unable to keep from frowning Sidney watches as Mikhail supports Alex down the hallway to the living room. It isn’t exactly a mean feat. Alex is a scarecrow, thin sharp angles with an unruly mop of hair and Sidney can’t help the warm feeling in his chest. Alex can barely walk without help but they’re home and he can’t even describe how unbelievably happy it makes him

Mikhail shifts his grip on Alex and half lowers, half drops him to the couch, smiling at the yelp it draws from the younger man  
. Ignoring Alex’s glare Mikhail ruffles a hand through his brother’s hair before pulling back. “Rest. Be back for dinner.” He glances at Sidney. “Your family be here?”

Sidney glances at his watch and nods. “Flight lands in about an hour.”

“Good.”

Sidney watches as Mikhail leaves before settling on the couch next to Alex. “Do you want to try for the bed or just stay here?”

Alex is already a puddle on the couch, eyes barely open and Sidney grabs the blanket off the back of the couch and spreads it over Alex. He has every intention to get up and get some work done but he gets caught up in watching Alex breath and he drifts off.

\-----

“ALEX!”

Sidney wakes up and moves just in time to watch as Taylor practically vaults on to the couch and curls into Alex, arms around his neck. “Why are you never that happy to see me?”

Taylor rolls her eyes. “Because you’re my brother, you haven’t been in a coma for over a year and Alex is way cooler than you ever could be.”

“Ignore her Sid. She’s been impossible since you called us about Alex.” Setting her suitcase down his mom comes further into the room, bending down to kiss him on the cheek before turning to Alex. She gently touches the edge of the scar that extends just a little below his hairline. “How are you feeling sweetie?”

“Okay. Tired, happy to see you all.”

She nods. “We’re happy to see you up and about. Now both of you get to bed. You both look like you’re going to fall asleep. I’ll wake you up when dinner is done.”

Sidney can tell by the set of his mom’s face that any argument he tries to make is going to be shot down. Shifting he gently pries Taylor’s arms from around Alex’s neck and ignores the dirty look the action gets him. “You can smother him later.”

Getting Alex off the couch is frighteningly easy and Sidney frowns, hand gliding down Alex’s side. “Shit you’re thin.” 

Logically he knows that, after a year in a bed, no one is going to look good but it’s different now. In the hospital the true extent of Alex’s deterioration had been hidden under hospital blankets and the terrible hospital gown that flattered no one, but now in an old T-shirt and jeans he looks like a waif fresh off the streets, wild haired in clothes far too big.

Taylor clutches a couch pillow to her chest and smiles though Sidney can see the pain in her eyes. “Don’t worry. Mom and Tatyana will have him fed up in no time.”

Sliding his arm around Alex’s waist Sidney smiles in what he hopes is a reassuring manner and not a terrible grimace. “That’s what I’m hoping for.”

Alex is trembling by the time they get to the guestroom that Sidney has serving as their bedroom until he can manage the stairs and Sidney eases him down on his side of the bed with more finesse than Mikhail had used earlier. 

Flopping backwards Alex groans and closes his eyes. “This sucks. Not want to sleep anymore but keeping eyes open hard.”

Sidney kneels and takes Alex’s shoes off, throwing them over his shoulder. “It’s fine. It’ll help you get your strength back. Now scoot up. You’ll be sore as hell if you sleep half off the bed.”

With a lot of raspy cursing and less than subtle help from him Alex flops back down diagonally across the bed, one arm flung outwards. “Far enough.”

Gaining his feet Sidney kneels over Alex on the bed, fingers of one hand brushing back the unruly fall of dark hair from his forehead. “And where am I supposed to sleep?”

Eyes bright Alex half pats, half rubs the comforter next to him. “Room here. You not that big Sid.”

Sid bites back the reply that jumps to the tip of his tongue and leans down to brush a line of kisses along the sweep of Alex’s cheek. He can feel Alex’s smile against his skin and he kicks his shoes off, stretches out next to Alex, head pillowed on his arm. It doesn’t take long before Alex is out again and Sidney doesn’t move, just rests his hand on Alex’s chest and watches the steady rise and fall.

\-----

Sidney stretches out next to Alex in their bed, fingers of one hand trailing up and down his back. He’s exhausted from the day, getting Alex home and the eternal joy that comes with having both families together. 

His parents are in one guest room while Mikhail Sr. and Tatyana are in the other. Mikhail is on the couch in the living room and Taylor made a nest in the family room in the basement. It’s the most people they’ve had in the house since the impromptu party celebrating their marriage and he loves it, having the people he cares for the most, short of his team close and safe.

Alex is already asleep and Sidney scoots closer, hand sliding under Alex’s side to rest over the tattoo. He’s exhausted but sleep seems an impossible task and he rests his forehead against the curve of Alex’s shoulder. He really should get up and leave Alex to sleep in peace but he can’t. 

This is the one thing he’s wanted for over a year and now that he has Alex back life is perfect.

\-----

“How was PT?”

Alex groans and sits down next to him, dropping his cane to the floor. He flops back on the couch and Sidney lifts the paperwork from his lap so Alex can get his feet up on his legs. It’s become a normal position for them when Alex gets back from physical therapy. “Make bad practice look good.”

Sidney sets the paperwork aside and slides a hand under Alex’s leg, rubbing at his calves. Alex groans and presses harder into his touch and that’s all it is for a time, Sidney working the tightness out of his partner’s legs as he shifts and twists with muttered English and Russian curses. 

He doesn’t stop until his hands ache and Alex is a limp mass, one arm thrown across his eyes. Sidney relaxes against the back and rests his hands on Alex’s thigh. It’s nice; a chance to simply exist with no pressure and Sidney has been enjoying the time spent with Alex, not having to disappear for practice and long road trips and he’s fairly certain this is the longest they’ve spent together since their marriage, where Alex has been conscious.

“When you play again?”

Sidney can’t say he’s surprised by the question. Since Alex has woken up he’s been expecting it and every day he gets through without hearing it the suspicions double. Trailing his hand up and down Alex’s thigh he glances at his partner. Alex is watching him from under his arm, eyes dark and unreadable. “I don’t know. I’m out of shape.”

Alex snorts and Sidney has to admit it’s a bullshit excuse. Even after recovering from his concussions he’d stayed in shape. He’s not entirely sure he would be able to survive a double or triple shift at the moment but he doesn’t think he’s in any danger of face planting at center ice in front of the entire arena.

“I’ll talk to Mario but I doubt it’ll happen any time soon.”

Shrugging Alex slowly sits up, braced with one elbow digging into the couch. “Shouldn’t have stopped playing Sid. Never as happy as when you play.”

Sidney moves closer to Alex, hand curling around his bicep. He leans in and kisses him, feeling a little desperate. Happy isn’t a word he would have used to describe the last, endless cycle of his life. The entire time Alex had been in the hospital contentment hadn’t even been in his vocabulary and now his chest feels like it’s going to explode. Now all his happiness is bound up in the man in front of him, his smile and eyes and mere presence.

Before he knows what is happening he has Alex pushed back against the couch and is kneeling between his spread legs, hands on either side of Alex’s head, fingers curled into the dark grey fabric. 

Alex is smiling up at him and Sidney leans down to trail his lips along his jaw up to his ear, nipping at the lobe. “Is this okay?”

In the three months Alex has been out of the hospital this is the closest they’ve been to anything sexual, though Sidney has a new appreciation for nights on the couch trading leisurely kisses until they’re in danger of falling asleep on the couch. 

Hands trail across shoulders and down, lingering on the small of his back before curling around his hips, gently tugging. “Is very okay Sid.” 

He settles against Alex and presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

One of Alex’s hands curls in his hair and tugs, slanting their mouths together and Sid gasps when Alex arches up against him.

\----

Adjusting the straps on his chest pads Sidney takes a deep breath. It’s amazing how easy it is to fall back into his routines, like he hasn’t been away from the ice for eight months. The sounds around him are familiar, the occasional comment or short burst of laughter, the rustle and thump of equipment being moved around. 

“Sid.” 

Sidney pauses as he shakes his jersey out in preparation to put it on. Geno and the others are clustered behind him, all dressed and Geno has a folded jersey in his hands, the 87 on the shoulder prominently displayed. It looks identical to the one he’s holding and he glances between them. “What?”

Geno rolls his eyes and thrusts the jersey at him and Sidney drops his old one to take the new. He shakes it out and is surprised to see the C on the chest, the one he hasn’t worn since he stopped playing, the letter that’s been on Geno’s chest for the last couple of months. “This looks exactly like my old one.”

“Sid, some days you make things more difficult than need be.” Geno takes it from his hand and twists it so he can see the back and Sidney feels his breath catch in his throat.

Across the shoulders it reads Crosby-Ovechkin and Sidney never thought he’d see it on a jersey. It’s the name on their marriage license, on the deed for their house and the bills, on everything important but his jersey until now. They’d talked about it but it had been easier to leave it alone, to keep everything related to the game as normal as possible, as normal as it could be with them married.

He takes the jersey and pulls it on, chest tight. It seems the best way to honour his partner when Alex’s future playing is so unsure. He’s recovering, getting stronger every day but the doctors are reluctant to let him back on the ice after the accident. There’s no telling how he’ll react to taking another hit to the head no matter how minor and Sidney isn’t willing to risk Alex again.

The others are grinning at him and all Sidney can do is nod, anything he might say caught behind the knot on his chest. 

Geno squeezes his shoulder and then it’s time to take the ice. 

Sidney hits the ice and the screams of the fans ratchet up and he can’t help the tightness in his throat. They had kept his decision to return quiet, so he could get back to top form without the constant media attention that seems to always plague him. It seems to have worked if the screams are any indicator, though he can hear jeering and boos, probably not all from the Rangers fans who have made the trip.

He knows there are people in the stands who don’t support he and Alex, are probably pissed about his decision to leave the team but he’s used to the people who hate him and he isn’t going to let them ruin his life or the game. Things are different now. He isn’t playing for him anymore, isn’t playing for the fans, isn’t just playing because he loves hockey.

Raising his stick he turns to the box where Alex and his family are, with Mario and the others.

He plays for Alex.


End file.
